Us Three
by heypandora
Summary: jiraiya&tsunade&orochimaru : . the Toad, the Slug, the Snake : Something about them was so perfect when they were together.


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_Familiar Faults._**  
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It's the days on which that stupid, stupid boy cries that he hates the most, that he scolds himself for ever, ever agreeing to this. It's days where that boy pleads and begs that other stupid boy on hands and knees to just come home already, that he hates. It's pathetic, he thinks, watching him stroll back, battered and bruised. The fact this seems so very, very familiar, doesn't make it any better. It feels so very, very much like déjà vu gone terribly wrong.

He tells that boy again and again that his pleading and begging don't matter, not to the other, and it won't make his friend come back. The Power of Friendship is a fraud. He's lost forever to the darkness, to desire and the hunger for power. There's no coming back from that, not to mention the things he's done -- murdering, torturing, saying-I-hate-you-over-and-over-and-pretending-to-mean-it.

"There's no use crying over it, best to just lead your life and forget you ever knew him," he spits, throwing blankets at the boy to sleep on.

He can almost hear Tsunade, "Doesn't _this_ seem familiar, Jiri," and curses his little Tsunade-head-voice. It had to be done though. He had to be yell at, screamed at, told the basic truths. The boy couldn't go on believing that maybe, somehow, one day, the other would just waltz back in town with him.

Even though when he was stuck in that situation, that's exactly what he wanted to believe.

Irony, he thinks, is completely ironic.

(Tsunade's-voice-in-his-head grumbles that, "I don't think you know what that word means," but he ignores her-it-thing.)

"Be smarter than me, kid; the lies you tell yourself will only get you killed in the end."

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_Not as Expected._

It wasn't that he didn't like her, she wasn't particularly annoying or anything. It was just that she was her. She chewed bubblegum and sang sugar-coated pop songs under her breath. She wore rubber not-meant-to-be-worn-by-a-ninja heels (as Toad Boy calls them; hooker heels) and swore loudly and consistently. She was her and she was incredible. She just wasn't what he had expected.

("What were you expecting – a hooker?" she lashes out, in his general direction.

The boy smirks back, "Oh no, we got a hooker. We were expecting a girl with class")

She was strong and fast and just wasn't like those another girl in town who only spoke about their weight and 'that-cute-boy-in-town'. The Girl could create tidal waves of rocks with her fists, he had to say that he was impressed. She wasn't a force to reckon with.

She beat up all the boys in card games and stole sake from their mentor. She threw rocks at Toad Boys giant toad, even when it chased her, and when asked about being 'Hokage' it was evident that it did not interest her. "Why would I want to be pencil pushing a bunch of unless forms when I could be drinking and gambling and, y'know, _living_ life?"

She was her.

She was not what he had expected.

(She was a welcomed surprise, though.)

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_Twelve-Year-Old Swingers_**  
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Being twelve-year-old and on a swing seems so cliché, but they couldn't resist. Their teacher made this set of three for them last spring so they feel inclined to not let it gather dust. They should be doing something proactive but this was the lazy option. They always seem to take that option. There are always days where they hate feeling inclined to come down here every week and swing on them, they were getting far too old for that now, but they are creatures of habit.

"You could always," starts their teacher, "show the Academy students where it is and let them use it. I'm sure the younger ones would love it!"

The girl whines, kicking up dusk as she swings, "That would defeat the purpose of it being 'our' swing. Singular, no, plural, Uh--"

"Simply, we're selfish, selfish people," smiles a boy.

"Ditto," says the other boy, while the girl still thinks beside them.

Teacher shakes his head and decides that it's just who they are, lazy, childish almost-teens. When the time comes though, he hopes they'll drops this childishness and give up everything for their Konoha. He has his doubts, though.

They always go down to those swings once every week and sit, without any purpose for hours, and sometimes longer when the girl managed to steal some sake from their teacher. They'd usually yell and scare any of the Academy Student who dare annoy them and throw toy knives at them, while practicing setting up traps.

They spend a lot of time watching Tsunade in plastic heels try to walk through the soft sand. Their teacher had laid it down because Stupid Toad Boy kept hurting him trying to do things you're-not-meant-to-do-on-a-swing. She failed and thought of trying again, a challenge!, but declared that watching Toad Boy trying to summon a toad on top of the swing set was funnier.

Snake Boy whispers to his little minions to scare Pretty Girl on the swing and makes her fall over backwards. Toad Boy enjoys this lot, laughing at her incompetence, and he gets a good glimpse up her dress before she kicks him in his head and let's him feel the wrath of a woman.

They enjoy stupid simplistic pleasures, like the sensation of swinging and the joy of selfishness.

(Years later, when Orochimaru decided he was going to destroy Konoha, that stupid swing was the first thing to go.)

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_Tuesday in Hooker Heels._**  
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She doesn't smile on the first Tuesday of every month. On that Tuesday her makeup is absent and she looks more real. Her mouth seems empty, there's no bubblegum jammed in, not lollipop being licked. Her hair is messily put up in a ponytail, like a proper ninja's should, she wears flats instead of heels. She doesn't reek of jasmine (_shit_) and she wears her actual uniform instead of a dress-that-looks-only-like-a-top. He thinks that he should like her better this way, when she not trying to distract others with perfume, heels and legs.

She seems more real, natural. Pretty Girl was never meant to feel real. This isn't her. Pretty Girl takes joy in teasing Toad Boy with her legs and she loves the taste of bubblegum. She loves how the heels make her legs look and the fact she can jump twenty meters without messing up her hair. She loves it when the girls grumble '_whore'_ when she strives past the ramen stand

"It's only because your boyfriend wants her, isn't it?" he thinks of yelling at them, but it pulled along by her.

On that Tuesday she remembers. She remembers her mother or, more important, what's wrong with her mother thanks to her grandmother's rants , _"You're just like your mother; a whore!"_ and she hates like hell to remember (because she's so very, very scared it's so very, very true).

On Tuesdays she decides that she'd rather be miserable then confirm that memory _"Just your mother! No man will ever stay!"_. She decides she'd give up being as happy as she is in hooker heels and dresses too tight than confirm it.

She'd rather fade into the background – into the crowd. Extremely out of character because Pretty Girl hates fading into the crowd but right now; oh! She's fading fast. He decides he likes her better with heels and legs and dresses and excessive use of makeup and perfume than like this. When she's like this her smile's never there, her look empty and he doubts her heart is there at all. She's cold and bitter and angry (and so very, very, very, very broken).

He likes her better with hooker heels and overused jasmine perfume.

He likes her happy.

(Today it's messing with her head worse than usual, so he leaves a new pair of heels in her favourite colour outside her door with a note, saying; 'You'd look great in these,' just to tempt her.)

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_NOTES_:

**1**. 24/1/09: Fixing up all old fanfiction, still.

**2. **Deleted 'Drinking Tea'. It annoyed me.

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Little!Tsunade was totally one of those girl who wear those bad, plastic Barbie high heels. Really.

First one is obviously me going 'OHLOOK, ORO LEFT JIRAIYA TOO BAWWWWL HISTORY REPEATS'. I need to write more "Jiraiya with Tsunade-head-voice". I had a line about him wishing it would materialize and give him a lapdance but--yeah. I tried to keep it part-way serious.

'Not as Expected' was meant to be Orochimaru thinking about Tsunade but could be seen as Jiraiya. Or both of them.

Next is wacky pre-teen fun.

Last is... one I actually don't like, but I thought was sweet.

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